i wanted to let you know, in case there was any doubt, as to why i wouldn't let you merge into my lane on the tollway today. the short version is i think you are a bitch on wheels. the long descriptive version is that i didn't appreciate you riding my ass, flashing your lights for me to get out of your way even though you were, technically, in the slow lane, all the while talking on your phone while doing so. i did see you try to speed through a toll booth in order to cut me off and get ahead of me, but it didn't work did it? why? because i am younger, faster and prettier than you. i am also gay which automatically makes me cynical, vengeful and smarter. yes it was sad that you had to end up with your suburban scraped up and the hood smashed into a light pole.
had i not developed a deep hatred for you in the fifteen minutes that we were together in rush-hour traffic, i might have stopped to even help you. but you were still on the phone when i waved so hopefully you were smart enough to ask them for help after your demise.
regards,
.silver saab
in the background::i bet you're mad at me:erasure
2 comments:
Yet another reason why I adore you.
Vengeful tip...next time, throw a lit cigarette out the window as you drive by.
D
i have had countless similar experiences, yet none of them have ended with the obnoxious driver wrapped around a light pole. what am i doing wrong? i'm gay. i'm pretty. when do i get my satisfaction?
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